I am trying very hard to shield all the nonsense that is going on in my life, which seems to be the main theme of it, like the trash courses of listening, Japanese and intensive reading, so trash that words cannot describe them, and make reading the pivoting point.
That is largely about my feels, but nonetheless counts a lot concerning how i will look back at my life. If i take the courses seriously and work on them really hard as i was supposed to, i would feel being carried away by a conveyor belt, and lose control of my life. Most of the people, even smart and successful people are really stupid because they are short-sighted and tend to make all the people so, especially their kids. I don't want to be like them, so i have to fight, even that means one against the world.
What i can do is to trim the time i spend on any of the trash and put all the time into reading, thinking and improving. That will give me a sense of having control over my life - every single day, not just on holidays.
What is hard about the reading project is that it is still hard to find the right book every step of the way. Now i have a little clue about the consistent pattern i would like: nonfiction, timeless, author of strong character, strong opinion, and it turns out most of them are with strong controversies. But i could say proudly that every book i read till is worthwhile except The Great Gatsby. I read each of them passionately, and they all more or less enriched my life and are making a difference.
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